What if it's okay to give up our dreams?

Okay, hear me out. I do realize the sentence I uttered was a sin against humanity. I say that in jest, sort of. Well, picture it as a slap in the face to our goal-driven culture. Have you ever heard the phrase, "Give up. Just give up." Or, "Settling is what we are aiming for." Of course not. It's almost as if, immediately as we exit the womb, we hear, "Try your best! Keep going! Always shoot for your dreams."

As a kid, I always wanted to be a famous singer. Mariah Carey was my idol, and I either wanted her to be my mom (sorry, Mom) or wanted to be her. Her tapes were constantly playing in my little boom box, and I even tried to start a band in fourth grade (We didn't get very far except coming up with a band name- Sweet Rain- yikes). Don't we all do that? We all, as kids, have things we want to do when we grow up. And we are told "You can do anything you put your mind to." Which is great, until it's not.

All through life, way in the back of my mind, I pictured myself winning a singing competition and going from total obscurity to a household name in a snap. Selling out concerts, writing hit songs, and being inducted into the hall of fame. I had a clear picture in my mind of the end product, but not an actual plan. And I didn't really want to work at it. Singing was something I enjoyed, but never something I really was going to put my whole life toward. But there was that nagging voice reminding me about becoming a famous singer.

As the years passed, I got my education degree and became a third grade teacher. I loved my school and looked forward to working with students and my coworkers every day. Laughter filled the classroom, and I still hear from some of the kids I taught. It is wonderful to know that I made an impact on them years ago. I have since stopped teaching to take care of our girls but look back on that time as a teacher fondly.

But in the back of my mind I felt like I didn't really achieve my goals of becoming a famous musician. Did I try to do it? No, but I feel that I should have put myself out there. Now that I type this out, it seems more than silly. But why do I feel that way? Well, back to our culture. We are constantly being told to shoot for the stars, to do our best, to make our dreams come true. I took those to heart as a little girl and have held on to them in my subconsious, never being truly satisfied with what I have done.

Not often do we hear talk about what happens when you don't make it. What if we are missing our lives by looking to an unattainable goal? My generation is plagued with anxiety and depression, and I've dipped my toe in that pool as well. That is a whole lengthy discussion in itself, but maybe one reason we struggle is because we have been told as kids to follow our dreams. We see movies and read books about people doing something miraculous that changes the lives of all around them. But that just isn't reality for a lot of us.

I'm all for trying to push ourselves to attain a goal. Like graduating college with a 4.0 or running a marathon (although you won't see me doing the latter). But some of us took those well-meaning motivational messages from society a little too literally. A generation that loves to please, we feel a little sense of sadness that we didn't end up doing something "big."

What I'm saying is it's okay to take it easy and let life take you on a journey. As Ferris Bueller says, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Maybe we need to tell ourselves it's okay to stop and look around at the beautiful messy life we live in. It's okay to give up those thoughts, those unattainable goals, and realize that you are making a difference in countless lives because you are you. And I love you for that.

Thanks for delving into my complex mind this morning. Come back and see what I'm up to next time.

Hayley